Passive Alienated Parents Seldom Win

Alienated parents are less likely to receive a favorable outcome to have a meaningful relationship with the kids if the alienated parent is passive.

Dec 30, 2022

I want to share my article out of great love for passive alienated parents. I believe I can write about this topic based on the fact that at one time, I was a passive alienated parent, and fearful of the open aggression towards me as expressed by my daughter’s mother.

I first noticed the effects of parental alienation when my daughter was three years old. As alienated parents, we recognize the oddities and abnormal responses from our kids early on. If you’re like me, at first, I didn’t understand the complexities of parental alienation. The term and definition at that time wasn’t know to me.

Since my first articles have been released, I take the extra time to post articles in various Facebook groups for parental alienation. I peruse the comments and pay attention to what alienated parents say. Reading the comments from various PA Facebook groups has helped me recall one of my greatest personal errors with my former custody case. I encourage each person dealing with PA to examine my former mistake to ensure you don’t repeat it.

My greatest mistake during the early years of Parental Alienation was being passive. In truth, I lacked the belief in myself, and the results were slow. I failed to follow my own gut instinct and take bold action early on which hindered my own position and hopes for more time with Alexis.

Over the many years, I’ve known over 40 people who have also endured PA. Knowing their stories, I believe it’s important to share some key facts and they are listed in no certain order.

Most Passive Alienated Parents share the following:

Their income is less than the agitating parent, and in some cases no income.
They have been demoralized from the agitator.
Most of us have an internal level of fear and defeat while the agitator meets numerous social illicit conclusions.
The agitating parent, in most cases, has an education level greater than the victim parent.

As alienated parents, we recognize the four points above. I’m sure other parents can add to the list. Let’s face it, as alienated parents like myself, we turned a hopefully fighting spirit into a passive alienated parent. Fighting back against a parent and spouse who is fighting dirty is just scary and demoralizing.

I’ve also noticed among Facebook groups dedicated to PA, they heartbreaking comments about their children. Below are actual recent posts.

‘I haven’t seen my daughter in over 6 months and it’s killing me, but I don’t know what to do.”

“Hmmm, I’m not sure what to do. My son is now sixteen and the last time I saw him was when he was 9 what can a parent do…”

My open answer to the above two points is just this. If we hold a fearful and/or passive attitude about our own circumstances, we are less likely to overcome parental alienation.

A passive alienated parent seldom wins, and this fact. This conclusion is derived from the over 40 alienated parents who have endured parental alienation for years, some for decades.

In fact, a passive parental position isn’t a leadership quality to adopt, especially if you intend to join with your child. Maybe, if you’re like me, you have been left with the worst possible outcome: to love my daughter from a distance, never seeing or speaking with her.

If you are a passive alienated parent who wants to live victoriously in your own life, you must adopt a new attitude and leave the passive nature behind. You must take bold action for the sake of your own kids, and you must elevate your attitude towards a winning mindset to be as bold as a lion and learn how to roar as a lion.

Love is the greatest defender,

Darel L. Long