Parental Alienation began when my daughter was just three years old.  Her mother is a director of counseling in a large school district.  I chose to overcome parental alienation despite major emotional attacks.  Even though I became the victor over parental alienation, her mother’s acts of alienation have never ended. 

During parts of the history of Parental Alienation, I’ve suffered as little or as much as my alienated friends. In some cases, the suffering endured during peak times of chaos resulting from Parental Alienation has been emotional torture. 

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Thus far, I have never met a man or woman, whereas the alienated parent’s kid(s) changed their last name and joined the agitator’s last name.  The timing of this event occurred when my daughter turned eighteen years old, and soon she will be 28. 

This Topic Provokes

This topic provokes emotional dismay and heartache. I write to share a deep and appalling wound forced against me as an alienated parent.  I was forced to accept this without even a meeting with her mother, stepfather, grandmother, or my daughter, to discover direct reasons for changing her last name.  I only know what two former friends of my daughter have told me and nothing more. 

During those years of massive conflict from her mother, I endured untold fear from monies borrowed and the bad actors I attempted to repay.  The custody case was a considerable challenge, and I invite you to read my story here. 

For many years, I was ashamed that Alexis changed her last name from my name Long to her stepfather’s last name.  I renounced the shame I endured the hurt from my daughter.  Interestingly enough, I have in my possession a court document in which her stepfather, while separated from his wife, my former wife, where he claimed that she also alienated him from his kids. 

The Day I found out Alexis had changed her last name. 

I remember the day, time, and location when I discovered this horrible news. Later the same night, I had planned to meet a beautiful lady for a date, and I was looking forward to meeting for dinner at a great Mexican Restaurant.  I found out in the late afternoon and was so upset that it took me a while to locate my car.  I cried in my car for hours, and later I drove home.  I should say I tried to drive home- I missed my exit!  I had forgotten about my date and called her to apologize.  She offered to visit me at my apartment, but I declined.  My sweet little dog, Jenn, was happy to see me, and I ended up on my couch, where I cried for hours.  My heart was beating so hard, and my head was spinning.  I could hear my heart beating. I was so angry at her mother and her other family.  I decided not to acknowledge that I was aware and kept the name change to myself. 

My little dog stayed with me as I sat on the couch the whole time.  She is a loving dog who has been more faithful to me than my wife or daughter. 

Another day passed as I sat on the couch.  By the second day, I hadn’t eaten. By the third day, I had not slept for two nights, and Jenn constantly barked at me to go to sleep around 10 pm every night; it was her schedule, and I was upsetting her.  She was happy, and I crawled into bed the third day and slept a full day and night. 

The days continued, and nearly five days later, I still hadn’t taken care of my business needs.  I only answered a few emails regarding business. I only left my home to walk Jenn and care for her doggy needs.  To this day, Jenn is eager to be with me no matter what. 

I never reconnected with the date mentioned above.  For nearly two months, I muddled in the soul-destroying rejection of my daughter’s actions.  I was living a grief-filled existence. I stopped attending church and spent my free time at the park with Jenn.  I tried to call Alexis, but my call was ignored.  The few texts we used were to change or cancel our meeting plans.

My dear friend on the other side of the country heard my grief over the phone and was compassionate because she had lost her three children due to the parental alienation of her former husband.  He told her littlest one she didn’t want them and she was dead.  Her grief mirrored mine.

For nearly five years, I became a wandering generality who carried the rejection and pain with every attempt at business and life. 

I suppose out of survival, I recalled from my youth that the art of compartmentalizing my life. This was the coping mechanism I used in the case when my father committed suicide when I was ten years old.  I didn’t realize how I implemented this mode of survival at an immature age. This act alone has allowed me to overcome parental alienation, and then I begin to thrive. 

My previous articles have primarily focused on solutions and ideals to elevate an alienated parent’s well-being.  Now I want to reach out about his crippling pain I endured. I wanted to highlight a harrowing time I’ve endured and fought hard to overcome. I can finally write about it for the sole purpose of inferring the spirit of overwhelming tragedy.

Many of my alienated friends have suffered an untold tragedy, and I felt it was essential to open up to a massive disaster in my own life while navigating the unending parental alienation.

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