An Alienated Parent's Weekend Exchange with Her Daughter

In cases of Parental Alienation, the drop-off and pick-up of your child may likely become an instance of conflict.

A parent participating in Parental Alienation will likely agitate and undermine the alienated parent during pick-up or drop-off with your child. In cases of extreme parental alienation, a tactic may be deployed by the abuser to disrupt or discourage this simple process. The article highlights a short story from one of my trusted friends, of whom I know a great deal.

The names have been changed to protect the alienated parent and her children. Meet Lucy, the alienated mother of three kids. Her older kids were in high school when the youngest was born. She was a full-time homemaker and was married to Jim, a police officer. Lucy is a tall, beautiful, and brilliant woman. Jim’s relationship at the time of the incident was with his girlfriend during his marriage to Lucy. We will call her Harriet. Lucy’s father was retired career military, a protector and provider of his family, was with Lucy during the weekend exchange. I will kindly name him Brad. Jim’s sister was also at the drop-off, called Teresa. Lucy’s lovely child shall be called Grace was only about 4 at the time.

Missing on this fateful day was Jim, the abuser and agitator, during the original pick-up, and later, he appeared.

Lucy and her father, Brad, arrived at a court-appointed time for exchange of custody. The exchange was set at a large local church, and at the appointed time, Lucy got out of the car and approached Harriet (the girlfriend of her husband) and Teresa (his sister). She simply said, “I’m here to pick up my daughter”, and Harriet said she would not give her Grace during the court-appointed time. Lucy’s father, Brad, had decided to video the exchange and made no advancement towards Harriet or Teresa. Teresa, Jim’s sister, sprayed Brad in the face with mace and continued spraying mace, as he attempted to walk away.

Lucy grabbed Grace from Harriet and backed away while simultaneously being hit with endless punches by Harriet. As Lucy backed away and kept Grace behind her, Lucy was assaulted repeatedly. Eventually, Lucy and her father got to the car and locked themselves inside. Lucy called 911, and the police arrived. Jim later arrived, and like the coward he is, he sat in his truck at a distance. Also new to the scene was Jim’s nephew, who came with a rifle, and he claimed to arrive to kill Lucy. The police found one round in the chamber, and a full clip. He was arrested and later released, but never charged.

Both Harriet and Theresa made nonsensical claims about the event, and how they had been assaulted by Lucy and Brad. Their claims were later proven false by the church’s video cameras. However, nothing happened to them, despite lying under oath. Lucy was made to pay fines, attend mandatory anger management, and has a Class 1 Misdemeanor of Domestic Violence against her, and the courts will never remove it.

Even though Harriet and Theresa assaulted Lucy and Brad, neither was charged, and Lucy was arrested and taken to jail. One of the hits to Lucy’s face caused her jaw to be dislocated. Lucy put her jaw back in place, in the backseat of the car, despite the blinding pain.

Grace spent the weekend with Lucy’s family, but Lucy was released from jail just in time to see her little daughter before having to return her to the abuser. It was years before she saw her daughter again. Her ex-husband did everything he could to physically alienate little Grace from her mother. He even went so far as to tell his daughter that her mother did not want her and that she had died.

It’s my concern and Lucy’s affirmation that her arrest and time in jail could have resulted in false prison justice. Imagine for a moment had the guards inside the jail, or the corrections officer, had said anything to the other inmates that Lucy was in prison due to domestic-related issues. Or that she was there due to her daughter being with her in an assault. Sadly, her former husband Jim, a police officer, was not only an abusive alienator but issued death threats against Lucy privately; she has evidence to validate this.

Most likely, had video evidence not been available, her husband may have created far more significant harm to Lucy’s freedom.

The reality of parental alienation elevates risk and conflict potential during pick-ups and drop-offs, otherwise known as custodial exchanges. It’s wise to invite a trusted person to attend these events, and it is extremely wise to record every event. Today, you can place recording devices in plain view, which may be a viable way to reduce conflict. However, we must remind ourselves, such as in this article, that some will seek to create harm regardless of whether you are filming or not. In Lucy’s case, her ex-husband sought to keep her from having any time with her daughter. If you are wondering about her older kids, they are now adults and are fully blinded by the lies their father told. She never stood a chance against the man she had been married to as he used his position and wealth to beat her down mentally, physically, and legally.

At this time, Lucy is doing her best to live her life as fully as possible. She has a small apartment and some cats. She doesn’t like talking about her children, but she loves them very much. Like all alienated parents, she dreads holidays and birthdays, and just tried to do her best, going about the work of living without her children.

Based on my alienated friends over 40% of my alienated friends have witnessed conflict during drop-off or pick-ups, and so have I.

Act, protect yourself, and record.

Love is the greatest defender,

Darel L. Long